How to Not Kill Your Husband’s Other Wife and Other Fables is a book written by Seyifunmi Tobiloba Soetan. This book is a collection of 10 Satirical Fables.
This collection opens with the longest fable, the heart of the book. The others speak to it, around it, or in rebellion against it.
Read a sample of the first chapter of the collection of 10 Satirical Fables
Fable One
“A gentle mouth births a gentle child”
(Enu rere lo n bí ọmọ rere.)
Let Her Grind Her Own Pepper
It was one wedding that dwarfed the rest in a town where weddings were louder than government policy. Then, there was Teresa, the bride, who came wearing a gele that could pick satellite signals. Her smile was so bold the kind women wear when they believe in forever.
When it was time for the first dance, the crowd parted like scripture being fulfilled. Teresa floated. And the groom, David Akingbajo, smiled so hard it made his enemies tired. He danced like his bride had no temper. It was that kind of wedding that blocked roads and reopened grudges.
The MC termed it, “love’s final bus stop.” The DJ termed it, “the afterlife of bachelors.” The elders nodded and termed it “well overdue.” One uncle hushed, “I give them two years.” The ceremony overflowed with jollof rice, music, and secrets yet to be born.
After two months, Teresa took in. When the child was born, it was a baby girl with a name that rolled off tongues like perfume, ‘Paloma’, meaning dove. Not too foreign to cause gossip, not too common to feel local. Just right, like a political bribe with correct packaging. Her father strutted with pride as if he’d built the child himself with a hammer and faith. Teresa glowed with motherhood. Life seemed perfect, and the Akingbajo house felt complete.
The compound took on the scent of baby powder and fresh earth after rain and ripe cassava. They wore matching outfits on Sundays, anko. On weekdays, the laughter between the walls sounded like praise echoes. Paloma grew fast, clever, and loud; she was already side-eyeing aunties pinching her cheeks too hard.
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